Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
