Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize