Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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