So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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