were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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