she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
