I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
