hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
