You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
why didn't you poke me back
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
