Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
