just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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