hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize