This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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