I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
