There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
