We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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