gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
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