he puts the penis in happiness.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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