i think my mom watched the whole time
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
