Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
