I skipped work to stalk him.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
