When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
