If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
