Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
