what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i out mim tonsoeep
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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