no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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