I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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