im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
