I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I will be naked everywhere
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
