he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
