apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
