just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
