she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
