Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
