I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
