so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
