WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
