Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
