TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
