Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize