i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
