I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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