The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My feet surprised me
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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