Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
