she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize