I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
