I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
