I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
