I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
one two three fourrrrnication!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize