I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
