Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
