Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
