you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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