You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize