hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
