I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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