Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
