nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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