dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize