1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
