In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
