the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
