I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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