Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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